Sweeten Feedback with the Cookie Approach

It’s that time of year when many leaders are gearing up to conduct annual performance reviews. Yet, providing positive yet constructive feedback often feels like a daunting task. How do you balance candor and care while ensuring the feedback is meaningful and actionable?

One key to delivering impactful feedback is to reframe how we view mistakes. Mistakes are not failures—they are natural stepping stones toward growth and achievement. In Psycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz illustrates this beautifully with the example of a self-guided torpedo.

“The torpedo accomplishes its goal by going forward, making errors, and continually correcting them.”

Like a torpedo, people achieve goals by moving forward, making some errors, and adjusting course. This process of learning and correction is essential for growth. As a leader, your role is to guide your team through these adjustments, helping them learn from mistakes and move closer to their goals.

The Power of Words in Feedback

The way you perceive mistakes shapes your feedback delivery. By accepting mistakes as opportunities for growth, you can offer feedback in a way that is constructive, clear, and encouraging. Your tone, words, and body language should align to create a safe space for learning and improvement.

One effective method to frame feedback is the “Cookie Approach.” This method involves offering praise, constructive feedback, and then ending with more praise. Think of it as a sandwich cookie: the outer layers represent the positive reinforcement, and the center is the constructive feedback that helps the person grow. Together, this combination sweetens their skills, nurtures their confidence, and makes the process of learning and improvement more palatable.

How to Use the Cookie Approach

Here’s an example of how you might apply this method for a team member who made errors while compiling a report:

1. Start with praise: “I appreciate your willingness to take on that last-minute reporting project.”
2. Provide constructive feedback: “There were a few areas that were missing updated data.”
3. Close with encouragement and expectations: “With the same diligence you used in tackling this project within a short period of time, I know you will ensure the information is accurate next time.”

This structure helps team members see the value they bring while clearly understanding areas for improvement and feeling motivated to grow.

Self-Coaching for Better Feedback

If giving balanced, meaningful feedback feels challenging, consider reflecting on these questions:

1. What is my belief about mistakes? Do I view them as opportunities for learning?
2. What fears do I have about giving feedback? How can I overcome these fears to serve my team better?
3. What do I know about this individual’s personality or work style? How can I adapt my approach to ensure my message is received with clarity and care?
4. How can I structure my feedback to include praise, point out areas for improvement, and reinforce my expectations?

Feedback That Helps Teams Thrive

When feedback is delivered with both candor and care, it builds stronger relationships and drives personal and professional growth. By focusing on course correction rather than pointing out mistakes, you reinforce your belief in your team’s potential. This approach not only helps them succeed but also strengthens the trust and respect within your team.

So, as you prepare for those performance reviews—or even your next one-on-one conversation—remember the Cookie Approach. A little sweetness can go a long way in creating conversations that matter and helping your team thrive.